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This is my second post about this and I welcome all input. I am NOT after a hook-up in anyway at this point. Our problems surfaced when she took up with another guy and ended up in bed with him.
Not pleasant for me. Our marriage in the last few years has been a tough one with her mostly creating distance. Her lack of interest, her desire to be elsewhere, her lack of interest in anything intimate, etc.
Upon talking about this, she tends to get up and from the conversation. It is when I start to reach the topic of what she's done in the past that hurt us after she's well drilled me into the ground. Yes, I know these are of a greater ill but we have yet to discuss it due to her lack of ability to stay put or confront her contribution to our demise. She claims she hasn't been happy for a few years but her actions have spoken volumes to the contrary and we've had some very wonderful times together despite what she has said.
She's even told me outright that I "never really did anything wrong in the whole marriage". The affair is not over with this guy who is a genuine dirt bag with a reputation for running on both his wives. This is his 3rd one since married to his current wife. Nice guy. My wife is at an all time low emotionally and I'm at a loss, as is she, to figure it out.
At 50, considerations have been suggested but to no avail. Her lack of love in our marriage is questionable as well as she's stated she loves me but the fighting over the affair she had won't stop. She sees divorce as the only way out. We're no longer in counseling and she won't go because blame and cause turned its ugly finger towards her. She declined all counseling prior to this saying it would do no good. It's helping me though. I can't figure it out.
Why is she doing this but still wants to end it all. When I told her that I did NOT want to end it, she replied that neither did she but it was the only way she could see to stop all the fighting and try to rebuild it after a divorce. I couldn't do that after what she would be putting me through with this divorce. But she's also told me that all her efforts were towards nothing more than a friendship and that she thought she might be miss-leading me.
That hurt. I'd love some input from a woman on this.
Perhaps someone who can identify with this situation herself or maybe someone who has been down this road and how they dealt with it. This is NOT a plea to make connections with anyone. I'm still married and believe in being true to my wife - even after her desire to be otherwise to me.
Am I an idiot like my son-in- suggests? Even her own have told me I'm nuts to tolerate their mother's actions at this point. But I can't just walk out on her since she has several other issues regarding sex as a that she's dealing with. One counselor suggested outright that this is not about me or the marriage and it has to do with her past trauma. The counselor has suggested that I hang in there as long as I can to at least help her in some way.
I love her enough to do this. Care to comment??Graysville IN adult personals
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